My awakening was the drugs leaving my system. > By the time the victim wakes up, they’re usually out of the body. But when a woman drinks, she’s told that she only put herself at risk. When a man drinks, he is generally seen as less responsible for the actions he committed. > The alcohol double standard that exists without our rape culture plays a huge role. > I immediately feared the dreaded questions of: “Were you drinking?” “Are you sure you weren’t just drunk?” “Are you sure you didn’t consent and now just regret it?” This reads more like her personal rape fantasy. Plenty of people go to bars alone, older gentlemen and men in general are more prone to fall at either end of the weird scale, i.e. Therefore she's the victim and bares no responsibility for her whoring. Answer (1 of 18): Depends on how weird you look and act just sitting there. She's a whore who drank too much and then decided she was raped to avoid dealing with the fact she's a whore. If she is still feeling the effects, as the story painfully extols upon us, they would easily confirm drug presence. My awakening was the drugs leaving my system.Īlso not true. Her false assertion of belief is her desire to project victim status.īy the time the victim wakes up, they’re usually out of the body. Yet men go to prison for it and women usually get a pussy pass.īelief is not a requirement.
The alcohol double standard that exists without our rape culture plays a huge role. Especially since drugs would still be in her system. “If we’re able to portray a relaxed state it will help reduce stigma.I immediately feared the dreaded questions of: “Were you drinking?” “Are you sure you weren’t just drunk?” “Are you sure you didn’t consent and now just regret it?” “If we were able to be more comfortable with and express that, that says I’m comfortable and secure with who I am,” Guarino says. Less unusual first in major cities, and eventually in smaller towns.”Īnd it will continue to be less and less stigmatized the way things are going-especially if people start going out alone more. “Now things are more digitized and we move around a lot more, so is going to become more regular and less stigmatized. “In the past we didn’t move around as much and we had a strong community,” Guarino says. Part of that is because a portion of the population has become what Guarino calls a “nomadic society”-where people are less rooted and more open to working in new locations-even at the bar. We’ve become more tolerant of people in general and more inclined to socializing in different ways. Guarino believes there’s less stigma toward people alone at the bar than there was in the past. Don’t let it discourage you because people are imperfect.” Don’t take it to heart when somebody is holding that norm against you. “People create social norms through their own experiences. “Remember that stigma and social norms aren’t always reflective of reality,” Guarino says. People “tend to become anxious about what people are thinking-more so than they should for what people are actually thinking,” Guarino says. Why You Shouldn’t Worry About Going to the Bar Aloneĭon’t let your thoughts about what other people may be saying about you become irrational. People who are more extroverted may not realize the comfort level of someone who is purposefully alone, leading to more questions and stigmatization.
These internal and external factors can go hand in hand. So much so that “many preferred to administer electric shocks to themselves instead of being left alone with their thoughts,” the study introduction reads. A study from 2014 found that people had difficulty spending six to 15 minutes in a room by themselves. “When you get more mature, you’re more comfortable with yourself … and you’re more understanding if someone is at a bar alone.”Īnother reason people can be uncomfortable being alone is internal. “As you get older and go through more life experiences, it becomes more acceptable,” Guarino says. The younger you are, the more likely you are to be uncomfortable doing things outside of the social norm, Guarino says. Strangers see someone who is slouching and closed off, leading them to think that something is wrong rather than “this is a person comfortable with being alone.” These feelings vary with age. “The prospects of that prevent people from going out alone.”įeeling uncomfortable and judged only exacerbates the problem because the person who is alone changes their body language. “It can easily be misinterpreted,” Guarino says. Several judgy scenarios can run through your head: Maybe they think you were stood up on a date. “When you see someone and you’re alone at a bar, you might be thinking, ‘I hope no one thinks I’m a loser who doesn’t have friends,’” Guarino says. Bars and drinking are seen as ways for people to socialize, and being alone directly challenges that.
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